Billy Wood
IDST 01H
The Examined Life
Death of Ivan Ilyich Essay
Leo Tolstoy’s The Death of Ivan Ilyich was a wonderful piece of work. The story reminded me of similar events from my own life. In this short essay I will try to cover the questions asked of this assignment. Tolstoy writes that Ivan’s life,"… had been most simple and most ordinary and therefore most terrible." (Tolstoy, 2010). It is a tragedy to live that kind of life.
What is the “authentic life” represented by Gerasim and the “artificial life” represented by most of the other characters in the story?
Authenticity can be defined as the truthfulness of origins, sincerity, intentions, and devotion. The “authentic life” means a life of originality, sincerity, good intentions, devotion, and commitment. Carl Rogers would use the terms unconditional positive regard, genuine (ness), and empathetic. Frankl would describe the “authentic life” in the following way;
“No one can become fully aware of the very essence of another human being until he loves him. By his love he is enabled to see the essential traits and features in the beloved person; and even more, he sees that which is potential in him, which is not yet actualized. Furthermore, by his love, the loving person enables the beloved person to actualize these potentialities. By making him aware of what he can be and what he should become, he makes these potentialities come true” (Viktor, 1959).
In the character of Gerasim, we find an amalgamation of Rogers and Frankl in the form of the “authentic life”. Gerasim portrays the role of a client centered therapist to the dying Ivan Ilyich. Gerasim listens without showing judgment, displays empathy, compassion, and gives a feeling of trust to Ivan. Gerasim’s companionship allows Ivan to find illumination to his conundrum. We see Gerasim helping Ilyich to see his own potential and realize actualization.
The relationship between Gerasim and Ilyich is more than superficial. The authentic life is demonstrated through Gerasim by his joyfulness, connectedness to others, and his altruistic manner. Ivan’s son Vladimir is the only other character who is living the authentic life. Vladimir understands that his father is dying and feels sympathy for him. The majority of the other characters in the story represent the “artificial life”.
Artificial can be defined as false or misleading. Leo Tolstoy characterizes the “artificial life” as a life of self interest, greediness, and superficiality. Tolstoy’s thoughts on the artificial life are revealed though his characters, Praskovya Fedorovna Golovina (Ivan’s wife), Schwartz (Ivan’s peer), and Lisa (Ivan’s daughter). Peter Ivanovich is one of Ivan’s closer peers and appears not to have fully succumbed to the artificial life. Life’s true meaning cannot be revealed through living the artificial life. The artificial life blinds one as to what his full potential could be.
How do people around Ivan Ilyich respond to his death and dying?
Peter Ivanovich, a fellow judge, first thinks of having his brother transferred in to fill the void left by Ivan Ilyich’s death. Peter avoids dwelling on Ivan’s death not because he is remorseful at the loss of a friend, but because he does not want to think about his own empty life and inevitable death.
Swartz is a character that Ivan sees his own self reflected through. Swartz plays down the gloominess of death and tries to remain jovial and unconcerned. Like Ivan and Peter, Swartz evades unpleasant situations.
The wife of Ivan Ilyich, Praskovya Fedorovna Golovina, acts as though she cares that her husband is dead. In reality, she is relieved by his death. Ivan never treated her nicely. As Ivan reelects upon his life, we see that he focused much of his shortcomings and resentment on to his wife. Perhaps her greediness, presented in the story by her asking Peter to help her obtain more money from the state for Ivan’s death, may be a result of the way Ivan treated her.
Lisa and her fiancé, Fedor Petrovich, have little to say about her father’s condition and eventual death. At times it appears that the condition of her father is an inconvenience. This is exemplified by her impatience while visiting her father before going to the play.
What meaning does Ivan Ilyich take from life just prior to his death?
Ivan understands empathy, love, and the importance of human relationships as he dies. He reverses course in his artificial life and steers towards the authentic life. The empathetic human connection happens when Vasya weeps for his father. This change of direction could not have occurred without the love shown through Gerasim. As Frankl stated “No one can become fully aware of the very essence of another human being until he loves him.” (Viktor, 1959). Ivan discovers love for his son which helps Ivan actualize his own potential.
What did you find most meaningful from reading the story?
The most meaningful thing in the story for me is the reality that everyone dies. That being said I want to make sure that I live the most authentic life that I can. I love my family and I see that love reflected back. I must strive to see that my personal ambitions never take me down a road to the artificial life. If I were to succumb to self interest, I fear that I would lead my family into that life too. I do not want to be an Ivan Ilyich.
What experiences or observations from your life are similar to events described by Tolstoy in his story?
In 2006, I was promoted to the rank of Lieutenant. The rank of lieutenant comes with great responsibility and commitment. The position also carries some prestige in the fire service. In the first year of being promoted I found myself completely consumed with self interest. This self interest revolved around striving to be the best lieutenant that I could be. I spent many nights and weekends away from my wife and one year old daughter. I missed so much of her development that year. In my second year of being a lieutenant I began to become infatuated with the job. I worked long hours and continued to work when I got home. Success was number one. Family came second during that year. Finally in my third and final year as lieutenant I came to see the artificial way that I was living. This epiphany came to me through the reality that my mother was dying. Soon I learned that I could save her. On April 20th 2009, after 16 hours of surgery, I became a living organ donor and a different person.
During my recovery I spent three months at home. I had the majority of the day to myself during the weekdays. This was a time of much inflection, soul searching, and discovery. My career was no longer my primary motivation in life. I was able to spend every weeknight and weekend with my family. In my new search for meaning I placed my family and our relationship as my primary motivation in life.
When I returned to work at the end of those three months, I made my intentions known that I would be voluntarily seeking a demotion to fire fighter. Next I enrolled in the SCS Weekend program promising that family would come before school. I made family life my number one goal. So far I met that goal and have still been very successful with my academics.
Now as I think of the road ahead I face the potential to end up like Ivan once again. I am planning to take the LSAT this summer and beginning applying to law school in the fall. If accepted, I will start in the fall of 2012. It was quite a strange coincidence that we had to read The Death of Ivan Ilyich right after my wife and I discussed me seeking a career as a lawyer. That being said, the story of Ivan will always be a reminder for me of what is truly important in life.
William M. Wood Jr.
Works Cited
Tolstoy, L. (2010). The Death of Ivan Ilych. Amazon Digital Services.
Viktor, F. (1959). Man's Search For Meaning. Boston: Beacon Press.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Civilization and Its Discontents
AN EXAMINED LIFE
Civilization and its Discontents
Core Reading Essay
William M. Wood
4/18/2011
Billy Wood
IDST 01H
The Examined Life
April 10, 2011
Civilization and Its Discontents Core Reading Essay – Freud
What is the “oceanic” feeling described by Freud
The first part of Civilization and Its Discontents deals with the ego, the id, and the oceanic feeling. The Oceanic feeling, as described by Freud’s friend Romain Rolland, is a feeling of being intricately tied to the greater world around an individual (Roberts, 2006). Rolland suggests that the oceanic feeling is at the heart of all religions. In Civilization and Its Discontents Freud wrote "I cannot discover this ‘oceanic' feeling in myself" (Freud, 1989). While Freud claimed that he could not experience the oceanic feeling, he also did not deny its existence. Rollins felt that the oceanic feeling “entitled” a person to feel a sense of religion even if they rejected every belief (Freud, 1989). Freud challenged that notion writing that emotions can be difficult to scientifically measure.
Freud suggests that this “oceanic feeling” is subjective and allowed a person to return to an earlier emotional point in their life. The feeling of oneness with the world, as Freud explains, harkens back to infancy before the ego develops. Freud states that in infancy there is a sense of “helplessness” and a need for a “father” (Freud, 1989). In psychoanalytical terms, early in life the ego and the object or outside world are dependent on one another and difficult to distinguish. As a person grows, the two separate and the ego becomes completely internal. Freud also draws the conclusion that the ego and the object can become close to being one during moments of passion. He writes “At the height of being in love the boundary between ego and object threatens to melt away.” In conclusion Freud suggests that there is not enough of a need for this “infantile” feeling to be the source of religion.
Describe the role of Religion according to Freud.
One way that Freud saw role of religion was a way to allow people to escape their everyday worries and fears. In the oceanic feeling, the ego attempts to separate itself from pain while seeking pleasure. Religion, as Freud, saw it was an outlet to alleviate oneself from pain and suffering with the promise of pleasure in the hereafter.
Freud also believed that religion had another role. Sin as Freud saw it, was the term that religions used to address one’s sense of guilt. In Civilization and Its Discontents Freud wrote, "The different religions have never overlooked the part played by the sense of guilt in civilization. What is more, they come forward with a claim...to save mankind from this sense of guilt, which they call sin” (Freud, 1989). The ego would use the sense of guilt against other in society. The superego allows a person to deal with guilt. The super ego, or the internalization of aggressiveness, develops a sense for a need to be punished (Johnston, 1993) . This need to be punished is mans primary source of guilt. According to Freud, religions preach that we are born with this guilt in the form of sin and that adhering to religious principles will help steer us from sin.
Discuss Freud’s definition or view of happiness.
Freud believed that there was only one purpose in life that everyone could agree upon. He wrote that human beings “thrive for happiness” and that “they want to become happy and remain so” (Freud, p. 15). Happiness is used to relieve pain and to avoid experiences that are not pleasurable. At the same time, there is a competing goal of wanting to reach a strong feeling of pleasure. Freud termed this experience as the Pleasure Principle. Freud felt that there was one drawback to satisfying the pleasure principle. If happiness is constantly achieved through sudden pleasure then that pleasure is no longer desired. When this occurs, Freud believed that happiness becomes achievable only from avoiding suffering. This avoidance of suffering he termed as the Reality Principle.
What is the relationship between civilization and individual suffering?
Freud believed that humans suffer in three ways. First we suffer from our weak and feeble human bodies. Second, we suffer from nature’s fury and our inability to control nature. Third, we suffer from social relations which limit our individual achievement of satisfaction. The social world comes with rules, mores, limits, and our inability to control mass happiness. Something that makes one person happy may come at the price of suffering for another. Freud saw this conflict as an extension of the inner struggle, or tensions, played out on a communal stage.
Why does Freud object to “love thy neighbor?”
In regards to “love thy neighbor as thy self”, Freud asks “why should we behave in this way” (Freud, p.57). Freud felt as though this statement imposed duties on him which would require sacafices. Also, Freud believed that if he was to love another person then that person must be deserving of his love. If Freud could find love for himself reflected back from another then that person deserved his love. Sacrifices to someone who an individual saw as an ideal version of themselves was aceptalbe to Freud. To love a stranger in the “universal” way that the statement implies way was unaceptable for Freud. Therefore Freud objected to loving all of his neighbors, or human beings in general, as himself.
According to Freud, how does racism and prejudice emerge?
According to Freud, prejudice and racism emerge from our aggressive nature. This idea also concurs with Freud’s rejection of “love thy neighbor”. Freud believes that man was not made for love, but instead made for aggression. Freud argues that man has proven time and again that he will humiliate, manipulate, exploit, abuse, and kill for his own ambitions. The two biggest ambitions are hunger and love according to Freud. These ambitions transfer to society in the form of groups. As civilization grows, groups will battle each other to achieve meet their needs. Freud was a witness to the horrors of nationalism and racism associated with World War One.
How does civilization control human aggression?
As civilizations develop there is a need to control the individual’s aggressive and sexual tendencies. Freud saw aggression and sexual instincts as intractably intertwined. Freud writes that primitive societies largely ignored this idea. However as primitive societies evolved, rules norms, and laws emerged for the purpose of suppressing the will to indulge in our aggressive nature. Freud believed that this repression leads to unhappiness and that eventually civilization would fail as individuals gave into their instincts.
William M. Wood
Bibliography
Freud, S. a. (1989). Civilization and Its Discontents. New York: WW Norton.
Civilization and its Discontents
Core Reading Essay
William M. Wood
4/18/2011
Billy Wood
IDST 01H
The Examined Life
April 10, 2011
Civilization and Its Discontents Core Reading Essay – Freud
What is the “oceanic” feeling described by Freud
The first part of Civilization and Its Discontents deals with the ego, the id, and the oceanic feeling. The Oceanic feeling, as described by Freud’s friend Romain Rolland, is a feeling of being intricately tied to the greater world around an individual (Roberts, 2006). Rolland suggests that the oceanic feeling is at the heart of all religions. In Civilization and Its Discontents Freud wrote "I cannot discover this ‘oceanic' feeling in myself" (Freud, 1989). While Freud claimed that he could not experience the oceanic feeling, he also did not deny its existence. Rollins felt that the oceanic feeling “entitled” a person to feel a sense of religion even if they rejected every belief (Freud, 1989). Freud challenged that notion writing that emotions can be difficult to scientifically measure.
Freud suggests that this “oceanic feeling” is subjective and allowed a person to return to an earlier emotional point in their life. The feeling of oneness with the world, as Freud explains, harkens back to infancy before the ego develops. Freud states that in infancy there is a sense of “helplessness” and a need for a “father” (Freud, 1989). In psychoanalytical terms, early in life the ego and the object or outside world are dependent on one another and difficult to distinguish. As a person grows, the two separate and the ego becomes completely internal. Freud also draws the conclusion that the ego and the object can become close to being one during moments of passion. He writes “At the height of being in love the boundary between ego and object threatens to melt away.” In conclusion Freud suggests that there is not enough of a need for this “infantile” feeling to be the source of religion.
Describe the role of Religion according to Freud.
One way that Freud saw role of religion was a way to allow people to escape their everyday worries and fears. In the oceanic feeling, the ego attempts to separate itself from pain while seeking pleasure. Religion, as Freud, saw it was an outlet to alleviate oneself from pain and suffering with the promise of pleasure in the hereafter.
Freud also believed that religion had another role. Sin as Freud saw it, was the term that religions used to address one’s sense of guilt. In Civilization and Its Discontents Freud wrote, "The different religions have never overlooked the part played by the sense of guilt in civilization. What is more, they come forward with a claim...to save mankind from this sense of guilt, which they call sin” (Freud, 1989). The ego would use the sense of guilt against other in society. The superego allows a person to deal with guilt. The super ego, or the internalization of aggressiveness, develops a sense for a need to be punished (Johnston, 1993) . This need to be punished is mans primary source of guilt. According to Freud, religions preach that we are born with this guilt in the form of sin and that adhering to religious principles will help steer us from sin.
Discuss Freud’s definition or view of happiness.
Freud believed that there was only one purpose in life that everyone could agree upon. He wrote that human beings “thrive for happiness” and that “they want to become happy and remain so” (Freud, p. 15). Happiness is used to relieve pain and to avoid experiences that are not pleasurable. At the same time, there is a competing goal of wanting to reach a strong feeling of pleasure. Freud termed this experience as the Pleasure Principle. Freud felt that there was one drawback to satisfying the pleasure principle. If happiness is constantly achieved through sudden pleasure then that pleasure is no longer desired. When this occurs, Freud believed that happiness becomes achievable only from avoiding suffering. This avoidance of suffering he termed as the Reality Principle.
What is the relationship between civilization and individual suffering?
Freud believed that humans suffer in three ways. First we suffer from our weak and feeble human bodies. Second, we suffer from nature’s fury and our inability to control nature. Third, we suffer from social relations which limit our individual achievement of satisfaction. The social world comes with rules, mores, limits, and our inability to control mass happiness. Something that makes one person happy may come at the price of suffering for another. Freud saw this conflict as an extension of the inner struggle, or tensions, played out on a communal stage.
Why does Freud object to “love thy neighbor?”
In regards to “love thy neighbor as thy self”, Freud asks “why should we behave in this way” (Freud, p.57). Freud felt as though this statement imposed duties on him which would require sacafices. Also, Freud believed that if he was to love another person then that person must be deserving of his love. If Freud could find love for himself reflected back from another then that person deserved his love. Sacrifices to someone who an individual saw as an ideal version of themselves was aceptalbe to Freud. To love a stranger in the “universal” way that the statement implies way was unaceptable for Freud. Therefore Freud objected to loving all of his neighbors, or human beings in general, as himself.
According to Freud, how does racism and prejudice emerge?
According to Freud, prejudice and racism emerge from our aggressive nature. This idea also concurs with Freud’s rejection of “love thy neighbor”. Freud believes that man was not made for love, but instead made for aggression. Freud argues that man has proven time and again that he will humiliate, manipulate, exploit, abuse, and kill for his own ambitions. The two biggest ambitions are hunger and love according to Freud. These ambitions transfer to society in the form of groups. As civilization grows, groups will battle each other to achieve meet their needs. Freud was a witness to the horrors of nationalism and racism associated with World War One.
How does civilization control human aggression?
As civilizations develop there is a need to control the individual’s aggressive and sexual tendencies. Freud saw aggression and sexual instincts as intractably intertwined. Freud writes that primitive societies largely ignored this idea. However as primitive societies evolved, rules norms, and laws emerged for the purpose of suppressing the will to indulge in our aggressive nature. Freud believed that this repression leads to unhappiness and that eventually civilization would fail as individuals gave into their instincts.
William M. Wood
Bibliography
Freud, S. a. (1989). Civilization and Its Discontents. New York: WW Norton.
Saturday, April 9, 2011
Mors Certa, Vita Incerta-Death is certain, life is not
Billy Wood
IDST 01H
The Examined Life
Discussion Board Week 6
“We live, we die, and the wheels on the bus go round and round.” (Jack Nicholson as Edward Cole)
My Bucket List
Since it has taken me almost 22 years to complete my undergraduate degree, one item on my list would be to graduate. I want my kids to understand the importance of education and commitment. That way they will remember something positive about my death.
I have already made peace with Jesus so in my short three months I would try to do the same with Allah, HaShem, Bhagwaan, Waheguru, and Buddha for starters.
The third, and most important, item on my list is to die before my children die.
Billy
Mors Certa, Vita Incerta-Death is certain, life is not
IDST 01H
The Examined Life
Discussion Board Week 6
“We live, we die, and the wheels on the bus go round and round.” (Jack Nicholson as Edward Cole)
My Bucket List
Since it has taken me almost 22 years to complete my undergraduate degree, one item on my list would be to graduate. I want my kids to understand the importance of education and commitment. That way they will remember something positive about my death.
I have already made peace with Jesus so in my short three months I would try to do the same with Allah, HaShem, Bhagwaan, Waheguru, and Buddha for starters.
The third, and most important, item on my list is to die before my children die.
Billy
Mors Certa, Vita Incerta-Death is certain, life is not
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Bystander Effect and Diffusion of Responsibility
Bystander Effect and Diffusion of Responsibility
Review your notes on the Bystander Effect and Diffusion of Responsibility. Now, think of a time you had a chance to help someone in need. What did you do and why? Be sure to address the two concepts listed above!
Given what I do for a living one would presuppose that the answer to this question should be self evident. Don’t be too quick to assume. When I am at work my pro-social behavior has an underlying motive. I get paid to help people. At work I also have the equipment needed to do the job.
Many years ago I was a generally altruistic volunteer. I had some self satisfaction out of helping people but mostly I helped people because I thought that I could make them feel better. This carried over to my off duty time as well. However over the years in my off duty time I have found myself falling victim to the bystander effect. The larger the amount of people present the less likely I am to render aid.
I find myself falling victim to diffusion of responsibility, especially if I see a vehicle crash on the side a busy highway. I know that many people will use their cell phones to call in the accident (myself included). I don’t stop because I tell myself that there is very little that I could do without my emergency equipment anyway. I overcome my sense of guilt by assuring myself that it is better for the on duty professionals be responsible for providing emergency care.
I have often asked my colleagues what they would do in the above mentioned situation. Surprisingly about 50% would be affected by the bystander affect and diffusion of responsibility. There is a saying in the fire service. That saying is “a fire fighter is always on duty”. That saying is no longer relative for most of us.
Billy Wood
Review your notes on the Bystander Effect and Diffusion of Responsibility. Now, think of a time you had a chance to help someone in need. What did you do and why? Be sure to address the two concepts listed above!
Given what I do for a living one would presuppose that the answer to this question should be self evident. Don’t be too quick to assume. When I am at work my pro-social behavior has an underlying motive. I get paid to help people. At work I also have the equipment needed to do the job.
Many years ago I was a generally altruistic volunteer. I had some self satisfaction out of helping people but mostly I helped people because I thought that I could make them feel better. This carried over to my off duty time as well. However over the years in my off duty time I have found myself falling victim to the bystander effect. The larger the amount of people present the less likely I am to render aid.
I find myself falling victim to diffusion of responsibility, especially if I see a vehicle crash on the side a busy highway. I know that many people will use their cell phones to call in the accident (myself included). I don’t stop because I tell myself that there is very little that I could do without my emergency equipment anyway. I overcome my sense of guilt by assuring myself that it is better for the on duty professionals be responsible for providing emergency care.
I have often asked my colleagues what they would do in the above mentioned situation. Surprisingly about 50% would be affected by the bystander affect and diffusion of responsibility. There is a saying in the fire service. That saying is “a fire fighter is always on duty”. That saying is no longer relative for most of us.
Billy Wood
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Maslow
I agree with Maslow. Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs is a brilliant illustration of man’s struggle in life. Maslow’s theory is the evolvement of Frankl’n s theory. Particularly certain aspects of Maslow’s esteem needs (second to the top) and all parts of self actualization (recognizing one’s full potential) echo Frankl’s search for meaning. Each level motivates a person to achieve more (Meyers, 2004). Maslow’s theory is logical and I agree with it. I will give a relative “real world” example to demonstrate why I agree.
I wake up in the morning and satisfy my physiological needs by eating breakfast. This provides energy and motivation. Next as I turn off my house alarm to go start my truck, I begin to think of my rather predictable day. I am motivated by the fact that I have some power over my daily outcome. With my safety needs met I kiss my loving family goodbye and reset the alarm. Their love and compassion energizes my emotional needs. I arrive at work and enjoy the morning camaraderie of my peers. We work together as a team to achieve our goals while demonstrating respect for each individual. My esteem needs are met which motivates me to achieve my fullest potential while delivering service at work. We complete our emergency calls and feel that we lived up to our own potential (sometimes we get a little arrogant with this).
Had one of my lower needs not been met things could have gone awry. If I had not met my physiological needs I would have no energy or focus which might cause me to not reset my house alarm. I would arrive at work being concerned for my stomach and wondering if I set that alarm or not. My irritability would shine through damaging my morning camaraderie and probably make me feel alienated. This would damage my esteem because some people would avoid me and my cantankerous outlook. I would return from calls wondering if I did my best or not.
Billy
Works Cited
Meyers, D. G. (2004). Psychology Seventh Edition in Modules. New York: Worth Publishers.
I wake up in the morning and satisfy my physiological needs by eating breakfast. This provides energy and motivation. Next as I turn off my house alarm to go start my truck, I begin to think of my rather predictable day. I am motivated by the fact that I have some power over my daily outcome. With my safety needs met I kiss my loving family goodbye and reset the alarm. Their love and compassion energizes my emotional needs. I arrive at work and enjoy the morning camaraderie of my peers. We work together as a team to achieve our goals while demonstrating respect for each individual. My esteem needs are met which motivates me to achieve my fullest potential while delivering service at work. We complete our emergency calls and feel that we lived up to our own potential (sometimes we get a little arrogant with this).
Had one of my lower needs not been met things could have gone awry. If I had not met my physiological needs I would have no energy or focus which might cause me to not reset my house alarm. I would arrive at work being concerned for my stomach and wondering if I set that alarm or not. My irritability would shine through damaging my morning camaraderie and probably make me feel alienated. This would damage my esteem because some people would avoid me and my cantankerous outlook. I would return from calls wondering if I did my best or not.
Billy
Works Cited
Meyers, D. G. (2004). Psychology Seventh Edition in Modules. New York: Worth Publishers.
Empathy
Carl Rogers defined empathy as “To perceive the internal frame of reference of another with accuracy and with the emotional components and meanings which pertain thereto as if one were the person, but without ever losing the "as if" condition. Thus, it means to sense the hurt or the pleasure of another as he senses it and to perceive the causes thereof as he perceives them, but without ever losing the recognition that it is as if I were hurt or pleased and so forth” (Koch, 1963).
One concept from Carl Roger’s client centered therapy that has the most meaning for me is empathy. I use empathy on a daily basis. This is no surprise based on my INFJ personality. The Myers Briggs test recommended that I become some form of councilor. I look for empathy from others when I need someone to listen. Below I will detail a few examples of how and why I use empathy.
My wife and I read that empathy would help with making a connection to our children especially during tantrums. We tried it and it worked. Since then I have used empathy with my daughter when she, gets hurt, when she is sad, and when she is excited about something. I can see that she knows when I understand her and her four year old perspective.
In the pre-hospital emergency care setting I use empathy to calm down upset family members of the sick and injured. I try to put myself in their shoes. I try however, to not get caught up in their tragedy but so much. Sometimes I have to remind myself that their problem is not mine and that I am in the role of “as if”.
I served as a deacon for a time at my church. My ability to display empathy enabled many of my counselees to get through trying times. I know this because several people told me that I listened to them well which in turn helped them through their struggles.
I have always been told that I am a good listener. Making eye contact, listening without displaying judgment, and listening without talking means a lot to me and how I relate to other people. I do however have a tough time with remembering the “as if” part of being empathetic.
Billy
Works Cited
Koch, S. (1963). Psychology: A study of science. New York: Mc Graw Hill.
One concept from Carl Roger’s client centered therapy that has the most meaning for me is empathy. I use empathy on a daily basis. This is no surprise based on my INFJ personality. The Myers Briggs test recommended that I become some form of councilor. I look for empathy from others when I need someone to listen. Below I will detail a few examples of how and why I use empathy.
My wife and I read that empathy would help with making a connection to our children especially during tantrums. We tried it and it worked. Since then I have used empathy with my daughter when she, gets hurt, when she is sad, and when she is excited about something. I can see that she knows when I understand her and her four year old perspective.
In the pre-hospital emergency care setting I use empathy to calm down upset family members of the sick and injured. I try to put myself in their shoes. I try however, to not get caught up in their tragedy but so much. Sometimes I have to remind myself that their problem is not mine and that I am in the role of “as if”.
I served as a deacon for a time at my church. My ability to display empathy enabled many of my counselees to get through trying times. I know this because several people told me that I listened to them well which in turn helped them through their struggles.
I have always been told that I am a good listener. Making eye contact, listening without displaying judgment, and listening without talking means a lot to me and how I relate to other people. I do however have a tough time with remembering the “as if” part of being empathetic.
Billy
Works Cited
Koch, S. (1963). Psychology: A study of science. New York: Mc Graw Hill.
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