Empathy

Carl Rogers defined empathy as “To perceive the internal frame of reference of another with accuracy and with the emotional components and meanings which pertain thereto as if one were the person, but without ever losing the "as if" condition. Thus, it means to sense the hurt or the pleasure of another as he senses it and to perceive the causes thereof as he perceives them, but without ever losing the recognition that it is as if I were hurt or pleased and so forth” (Koch, 1963).

One concept from Carl Roger’s client centered therapy that has the most meaning for me is empathy. I use empathy on a daily basis. This is no surprise based on my INFJ personality. The Myers Briggs test recommended that I become some form of councilor. I look for empathy from others when I need someone to listen. Below I will detail a few examples of how and why I use empathy.

My wife and I read that empathy would help with making a connection to our children especially during tantrums. We tried it and it worked. Since then I have used empathy with my daughter when she, gets hurt, when she is sad, and when she is excited about something. I can see that she knows when I understand her and her four year old perspective.

In the pre-hospital emergency care setting I use empathy to calm down upset family members of the sick and injured. I try to put myself in their shoes. I try however, to not get caught up in their tragedy but so much. Sometimes I have to remind myself that their problem is not mine and that I am in the role of “as if”.

I served as a deacon for a time at my church. My ability to display empathy enabled many of my counselees to get through trying times. I know this because several people told me that I listened to them well which in turn helped them through their struggles.

I have always been told that I am a good listener. Making eye contact, listening without displaying judgment, and listening without talking means a lot to me and how I relate to other people. I do however have a tough time with remembering the “as if” part of being empathetic.

Billy
Works Cited

Koch, S. (1963). Psychology: A study of science. New York: Mc Graw Hill.